Jun 23, 2021 08:00am
Self Care Begins With Friend Care

We sat across from each other at the table in the back corner. Before we even pulled out the chairs, we knew – our souls needed a place to escape.

We laughed too loud and stayed too long, and didn’t check our phones one time. It could have been because we just have that much fun together. Or it could have been because we knew what the end of the night meant.

When we drove up to my door, I hesitated. It’s hard to give the last hug.

A few days later, she boarded a plane, and for now, our dinners will have to wait. Life moved us miles away.

Bidding my friend farewell got me thinking. Thinking about how to do friendships both near and far. Thinking about how to make the most of these God-given girls in my life.

I have friends from shore to shore and friends right down the street, and I believe there’s a way to nurture both. In fact, God’s Word gives us a few examples I think we can apply to our friendships today:

  1. Write a letter. The New Testament is full of letters. Letters written from Paul to the early churches. Letters sent to encourage and build up and to share about his own life and needs. Now obviously, writing a letter with a pencil and a piece of paper seems a little foreign to some of us. Some of you are rock stars at this kind of mail, and it blesses those of us who receive it. But the rest of us have to send a mass text message every November because it’s time to mail Christmas cards and we never write down an address . . . speaking of text messages . . . isn’t that a letter? A note to say I’m thinking of you. What are you up to? How can I pray for you? I think it is. And how simple is that?
  2. Schedule some talk time. If there was ever a life of high demand, Jesus lived it. Yet with so many seeking something from Him, He found time to pull away with His disciples. His friends (John 15:15). Our lives are often full, and a phone tag game is sure to surface. If we really want to connect with the great women in our lives, we might need to carve it out. Look at the calendar. Throw out a few times that work, then write it down on the day planner the same way you do that work meeting.
  3. Pray. In his letter to the church of Ephesus, Paul writes, “I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly” (Ephesians 1:16). We can do the same for each other. I love my friend Lisa’s idea – prayer triggers. Think of a friend, then think of something she loves or something that reminds you of her. Every time you see or hear that “thing,” pray for her. Wherever you are, stop and pray. It can just be one sentence. But let’s make it a priority to pray for our friends.

My friend sent me a text just a few days ago asking about something I shared with her that night at dinner. Life may have moved us miles apart, but it hasn’t separated our hearts. Is there a friend you can write to, talk to, or pray for today?

Copyright © 2021 by Katy McCown @ No part of this article may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from