Sep 02, 2020 08:00am
Leadership, Submission and Other Crazy Concepts

I can remember clearly the first time I drove a motorcycle. It wasn’t because it was a lot of fun or a turning point in my life. I remember it because I had a bad experience.

My wife and I and some friends rented motorcycles near our home, then met a new guy who wanted us to ride with him to another city. He told us to follow him and even though I was hesitant, for some reason we trusted this guy. 

So we started the journey with new guy leading out front. But before long he was out of sight! He left us in the dust. I couldn’t keep up, and it was my first day to drive a motorcycle, so I was furious.

How could this guy just leave us behind? What an irresponsible leader.

Leadership is so important, but we don’t think of the followers as much as we should. Men, it’s our job to lead our families and lead them well. Let’s talk about leadership and then hear some encouraging things as your lead your family. 


A general once asked a military leader two questions: “What is leadership? How is humanity divided?” He replied that, “There are only three kinds of people – those who are immovable, those who are movable, and those who move them!” 

Leaders move others. The Bible teaches that males are the head of their families. (Ephesians 5:21–33; Colossians 3:18–19; 1 Peter 3:1–7; and Titus 2:5.) A leader is one who serves. “If serving is below you, leadership is above you.”


When people hear the words “headship” and “submission” they often think this aspect of marriage is from another planet. So why is it such a controversial concept? Even a societal evil?

Submission is often misunderstood, but the world (most of it) understands and accepts citizens submitting to government, employees submitting to bosses, and children submitting to parents and teachers. People submit in different ways, but they do so voluntarily. Even though there is a structure to the leadership of our nation, schools, and businesses, for some reason in today’s culture people have a problem with a similar structure in the home. 

The Bible states clearly that, “The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church…” (Ephesians 5:23). The secular world has a problem with headship and submission because of the belief that the husband and wife cannot be equal, but what they don’t understand is that people can be equal in status and have different roles.

The Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Men, may we take heed to C.S. Lewis’s explanation of headship: Basically, he says the crown given to husbands is a crown of thorns, but the real danger isn’t that husbands will grab onto the crown too eagerly, but that they let their wives wear it.

When wives see their husbands live sacrificially for them, they naturally respond by submitting to them. The more the wife submits, the more the husband can lead and desire to serve her. The more he lovingly leads and lays down his life for her, the more she will comfortably submit to and respect him. See the pattern? 

We have the choice to either follow the biblical model of headship for the family or not. The Bible says we model the gospel for the world when we do so. Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and it refers to Christ and the church 

Our marriages reflect the gospel when men lead, love, and sacrifice for their wives as Christ did for the church. 

Copyright © 2020 by Brandon Lingle @ . Used with permission. No part of this article may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from