Sep 04, 2020 08:00am
Husbands, It is Critical to Take Care of Your Girl First

Focus on Your Girl

God has given us something very precious to take care of: our wives. As we already discussed, doing the little things for her adds up. Tell her you love her at random times throughout the day. Stop to look a little longer into her eyes and gaze at their beauty. Interrupt her when she is cooking to give her a kiss.

Let your wife know and feel that you truly love her. Think about her when you are working. Carry a picture of her in your wallet or make it the background on your phone. People think the honeymoon is the most magical moment in a marriage. {buzzer sound} – Wrong! Love grows, deepens, and becomes sweeter when it is properly cared for.


A teacher once gave very sound advice in the form of a question. He asked the class, “What is the most sensitive sexual organ on a woman?” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t brave enough to guess out loud. Most men will think of certain body parts, but they usually guess wrong. The answer to his question was “The brain.” 

Men, what excites us is fundamentally different than what arouses our spouses. They often respond to thoughtfulness, sweet words, laughter, security, and feeling valued.  

Here is something I have learned from C.J. Mahaney in his book called Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: “In order for romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body.” God designed women to desire their hearts and minds to be pursued first before their bodies. Because in that order real love will be expressed.   

Hear this important truth from a marriage seminar I have quoted from before:

“Our goal in sex shouldn’t be mere sexual gratification. The goal of sex is to give expression to the love, the union,  that sex represents. So study your wife. Learn how to seduce her, how to cause her to feel loved and cherished and desired by you. And then pursue that all day long—from the way you speak to her at breakfast, to your interaction in the middle of the day via phone or e-mail, to the way you serve and attend to her at your reunion that evening. Touch her mind and her heart before you ever touch her body. And even consider that touching her body isn’t always a prelude to sex.  Remember the goal is not sex but the expression of love.”

Before we leave this topic let me plead with you to be faithful to your wife. No amount of sexual pleasure with someone else is worth destroying our families, marriages, and souls (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Men, let’s be satisfied in our wives alone, for they are our treasure (Proverbs 18:22). 

Date and Take Care of Your Wife

It’s not something foreign to us, we have done it before, and we should never stop doing it. Men, no one knows our wives better than we do, so we must come up with ideas on how to treat them special and romance them. Here are some ideas to help you get started:

  • Go out on dates with your wife (whatever it takes to make that happen). Make it routine and schedule them.  
  • Make your wife go out with her friends or invite them over for girl time.  
  • Does your wife like to have her hair done, get a massage, or schedule a manicure? Give her money and time for that.  
  • Take time to sit down and talk with her alone. Tell her why she is special to you and how much she means to you. Talk about your favorite memories together.  
  • Compliment your wife and critique her less.  
  • Prepare a meal for your wife, clean the house when she is not around, and do a chore she regularly does.  
  • Notice what she does around the house, for the kids, and for you. And then show her and tell her how much you appreciate her.  
  • Write little love letters and hide them in places she will find them.  
  • Rub your wife’s feet, hands, and head whenever you can (not expecting it in return!)  
  • Kiss your wife before you sleep and when you wake up. 
  • Read and pray with your wife. 
  • Take her somewhere new. 
  • Message her randomly to let her know you are thinking about her.  
  • Remember what she likes and get if for her. (For my wife, it’s coffee).  
  • Ask your wife every day to tell you about her day. Share your day with her every day. 
  • Compliment your wife in front of others. 
  • Take care of yourself: Work out, groom yourself, and smell good.  
  • Men, go to bed exhausted each night because you have spent the last amount of energy you had playing with kids, feeding them, bathing them, and helping take care of your wife.  

Forget what culture says about being a “man’s man”. I will let William Farley interject, because he says it best:

“True masculinity expresses itself as a desire to serve women and children by leading them, protecting them, and providing for them. Sure, masculinity is all about unselfish servanthood. It has nothing to do with muscle size or athletic ability.”

Starting with our wives, may God help us be the men he has called us to be for our families. 

Copyright © 2020 by Brandon Lingle @ . Used with permission. No part of this article may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from