Apr 28, 2020 08:00am
Here’s How to be a Superhero Husband

Husband, never underestimate how much your wife craves your attention.  

A wife’s heart sings when her husband picks up on details even she doesn’t notice about herself.

And how glorious this is for you! You get to cherish your wife and lavish her with your attention. She is worthy of knowing. You love to behold. She loves to be held. Give her “heroic focus.” 

Heroic Focus

This is what we see in Song of Solomon 4:1-9. It’s a heroic hocus on his bride, starting with her eyes and going lower and lower. How wonderful! 

But the focus of a husband isn’t just sexual. It’s in ordinary moments, too. Those first five minutes coming home from work (or any activity) are crucial. They set the tone for the rest of the evening. 

Heroic husbands win those moments. 

They don’t walk through the door while on the phone with someone else. They don’t stay in work mode, dwelling on unfinished projects. Instead, they choose to focus on their bride.

Failing to lavish her with a Heroic Focus weaves disappointment into her heart.

Yeh, you’re finite – and that’s good

How, then, do you hit the “mute” button on everything else demanding your attention? How do you offer her an unhurried heart, allowing her to experience the full weight of your attention, where she most flourishes? Two words: human finitude.

Not what you were expecting? Allow me to explain. Rigged deep into the wiring of men is the yearning to be strong. And capable. And competent. We panic, and are at our lowest points, when we feel useless and weak. This can push us towards a Superman mentality. We can take on the world! We can be all places at once. Ah, this gets us in trouble.

Wives who are healthily attended to have husbands who know their limits. Husbands that gladly admit, “Yeah, I’m no Superman. I can’t do it all. I did my best at work today. Now, I turn my attention elsewhere.” That’s heroic focus.

Husband, God made you finite on purpose. It’s not a result of the fall of man. And it’s not changing on the new earth. You are a human. Not a Superman. You will never complete the to-do list. You’ll never get it all done. There’s not enough time in the day. Nor do you possess an infinite supply of attention. No, you’re working with a limited resource.

The question is, will you spend it on her, or something else? 

Will you choose heroic focus?

Copyright © 2020 by Justin Talbert @ Used with permission. No part of this article may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from