There are mornings I wish God would allow me to use someone else’s story other than my own to make a point. Because when I share my own story, my innermost worries and feelings are on display for the world to see.
I am vulnerable.
I just want to say, “Not this time Lord. Not this subject. Give me another story, another memory, someone else’s struggle. Not mine. Not this.”
But he still urges in that still, small voice.
This isn’t a cry for sympathy or a pity party. He is strong when I am weak.
However, somedays I feel forgotten. Not in a sense of I used to be a “somebody,” but that everyone has busy lives and I’m on the outside looking in.
It’s always been like that.
In middle school, it was that group of girls having a conversation and I felt like an outsider standing next to them. In high school and college, it was overhearing something being planned or a fun outing, but not being invited.
Don’t get me wrong, my husband is amazing, and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. But women need friends who are girls too.
Friends you can call in the middle of the night and laugh with.
Friends who you can text for a coffee and shopping trip.
A friend to share funny stories, sad moments or life struggles with.
The truth is, I desperately desire deep friendships. It’s hard, honestly, since we moved an hour and a half away from where we were before.
I don’t regret it.
I know He has a great plan, but so many things have changed.
No more girl’s discipleship on Thursday nights.
No more game nights with friends.
No more, “Hey let’s grab dinner,” or, “Let’s go for a run after work.”
Why am I saying all of this? Why is the Lord making me reveal my insecurities? Because I’m not alone. If you feel the same way, God wants you to know you are not forgotten.
“But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.” (Genesis 8:1)
Do you know how long Noah was on that ark? One year and ten days.
Don’t you think Noah may have felt forgotten?
God sealed the boat, the rains came, and the flood continued and day after day, Noah waited.
But God remembered him.
While I still desire earthly friendships, I know God has not forgotten me. I know people have it far worse than I – struggles I can’t begin to comprehend. But all the while, God cares for us all.
He loves us in spite of our worries and insecurities.
He loves us in the midst of our pain.
We are not forgotten.