Aug 19, 2021 08:00am
Do I Want Him or Do I Need Him?

I blame rom coms for leading me to believe that love is an easy and fast journey. Will I still watch them? Most definitely.

Ever since I can remember, I have dreamt about getting married. Do I know to who? No, but do I already have my Pinterest boards ready for action? Absolutely!

Growing up, I watched my parents flourish in their relationship. They have had their ups and downs, but they are still together. Currently, they are both serving God’s people in any possible way. They are a team. I want that.

My parents had always told my brother and me that they began praying for our future spouses before we were born. According to my mom, I have been ready to get married for a long time now. I was three years old and had no shame in telling the world that I wanted to marry my church guy friend. What can I say? I’m a romantic.

Now I’m in my 20s, wondering when Mr. Right will bump into me at the supermarket, mall, student union, or maybe even while I’m traveling. 

(Side note – the dream is to be walking down the streets of Spain, maybe a little lost, and suddenly a good looking, God-fearing man stops to help me, becomes my tour guide, and we eventually get married.) 

Having to dress up to go out is tiring, so this Mr. Right better like me without my curled lashes. 

Why is it so intriguing to be in a relationship today? Why can’t I be happy being single? Why do I feel pressured to find the guy I will spend the rest of my life with? The keyword is “FIND.”

Emotions, riches, and self-empowerment fuel this world, but according to Galatians 5:22-23, God fuels His children with “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” 

Self-control. Why do we want to rush God’s perfect timing? Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

God has control of it all. There is no reason for us to FIND that special someone. Whenever God sees that we are ready for that next big step in our lives, He will introduce us to the man He wants us to marry. 

It’s more than okay to like someone, to be interested in someone. It’s human nature. What we don’t need to do is let our minds be consumed with thoughts on some random cute guy you saw while grocery shopping. You might want him, but you don’t need him. 

Work on yourself in this season of singleness. Clear your head. Focus on what God wants to tell you while you pray. Ask God to help you set healthy standards for yourself and any guy you might be interested in pursuing a relationship with in the future. 

And if you are not 100% sure on how to set godly standards for yourself and your future love, don’t be afraid to ask God to give you wisdom and discernment.

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