“I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.”
That caption describes my brain for the last two-and-a-half weeks. If you have experienced Covid, I do not have to explain that to you. I told my friends it reminds me of when I went through chemo and radiation treatment for cancer the first time.
Chemo fog was tough, but Covid fog rates right up there. I started running a high fever on Dec. 29 and tested positive at Urgent Care on Dec. 31st. A lot of things have just been a blur since then. The fever was the kicker for me. I just could not get out from under it and could not get my pulse ox above 90-91 until about four days ago.
We (my mom who stills says she did not have Covid, ha-ha) were blessed to have family members and friends nearby who checked on us every day, provided meals, vitamins, prayer, and encouragement. So thankful for His provision through all those who took care of me.
Having shared some of my journey, I wanted to encourage many of you who have had a tough time with Covid and its variants. Obviously, a certain amount of depression can creep up on you during this time because you are isolated and unable to do normal tasks. The only laundry you are doing is washing your two favorite pairs of pajamas. I got the strength to shower a few times in there, but it was not worth it to be honest. I went two weeks without putting on a bit of makeup and if you do not need to wear makeup, more power to you, but I care about not scaring my friends!
But one of my biggest struggles was that I had no desire to be in the Word I felt so bad and slept a lot. In talking with others of you I know that was something many have also struggled with.
Fortunately, God’s Word that is hidden in my heart became the lifter of my heart during this journey.
John 10:10 tells us the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. But He has come that we might have life and live it abundantly.
The enemy loves to attack us when we are struggling. God’s Word makes that clear. But the Bible also tells us in Roman 8:1, “There is therefore no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.” Do you recognize the truth here?
If you are feeling condemnation, guilt, depression, etc. from the consequences of Covid or its variants, that is not coming from our heavenly Father. It is either your own self-talk, the voice of others, or the enemy. God does not condemn those who are in Christ Jesus. He convicts us through the Holy Spirit in us, but He does not condemn us. When He is speaking to us it is that small gentle voice that pricks our hearts.
In short, give yourself a break and get well. Do not overdo. Yes, I am talking to myself and hearing the voice of those around me saying, “Do not overdo.” God knows exactly where we have been, and He has been right there with us.
I am back at the office today for a full day. And yes, I will be ready to put on my pajamas and rest when I get home. But I finally had some sweet time in the Word this morning and am so thankful for His faithfulness to us.
If you’re reading this and don’t understand how God works and how he loves sinful people, please stop right now and call out his name. He always hears the cries of those he created. Tell him you’re lost and want to be found, to be free from guilt, and to have a new life in Christ.
Looking forward . . .