May 08, 2020 08:00am
Being a Heroic Husband is all About One Thing

My favorite scenes in action movies are when the protagonist begins training to defeat his/her foe. 

It is during this training that, over time, they transition from zeros to heroes. I think of Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai or even Po in Kung Fu Panda. I treasure these scenes.

But what trains us in Heroic Husbandry? 

Undeserved Treatment

The answer is grace. Yes, grace. The essence of grace is treating someone better than they deserve. 

How crucial this is to your relationship with your bride! It should be inextricably wrapped up in grace

As you follow Jesus, paying close attention to how he treats you better than you deserve, you begin to treat your bride better than she deserves in all things, big and small. This is a self-controlled, upright, and godly life. 

This is Heroic Husbandry.

But this can be hard to do, especially in the face of criticism. How many times have you entered dialogue to reconcile things, only to be thrown off the rails by a single, harsh comment by that lovely lady of yours? 

We’ve all been there. When that happens we are leaning on our own strength. We’re in justice mode. Not grace mode. 

The Grace Shield

It doesn’t matter how good our intentions are, without a  ‘Grace Shield’ marital battle will render us explosive.

If I asked you to picture Captain America, you’d probably first picture his shield. He’s known for it. It’s legendary! Bullets, blades, and bad guys barrage that shield to no avail. It endures.

You, too, hero, must be known for your shield. The “Grace Shield”. 

Okay, now picture Thor. Holding his hammer aloft, lightning surges down from the clouds, enters him, and then thunders out of him. Husband, this is Jesus’ desire for you.  (Not that you become the God of Thunder, but that his grace will flow from heaven and bless your bride through you

No matter how many rude remarks, sinful eye-rolls, or distorted facts flung your way, the Grace Shield endures and God’s power flows – for her sake. 

So, next time (what you interpret as) a nag comes your way, treat her better than she deserves. Equip the “Grace Shield”. Apologize for what you can apologize for – there is always something. Then, no matter what ensues, envelope her with a warming grace. 

She may not appreciate it right away, but that’s okay. A real hero doesn’t need to be thanked.

Copyright © 2020 by Justin Talbert @ with permission. No part of this article may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from