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Jul 17, 2025 09:56am

When Respect Breaks Down: The Day a Classroom Crossed the Line

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Shocked.

Was that was I was feeling? My face probably displayed that reaction. But it wasn’t the only thing I was feeling.

Anger rose up within me. I have zero tolerance for disrespect.

This wasn’t how the day started.

I was speaking at a school, which will remain nameless. The teacher who had invited me to come had warned me of one particular group of kids.

“This is a rough group. It’s best to just share what you have and don’t allow them to ask questions.”

Eh. I’m sure they aren’t that bad. I’m usually pretty good at handling rowdy kids.

“I’m sure it will be fine.”

And it had been up until this point.

The class was filled with mostly boys. With graders can be challenging but this group would certainly test your patience and self-control.

They had been disruptive making noises, little side comments, and not paying attention. All things that I could handle. It didn’t seem too bad. I honestly thought the teacher had been unfair when trying to warn me.

Until I made a big mistake.

Feeling confident in my ability to handle the room, I thought I would allow them some interaction and engagement. I would call out the name of a health care professional and they would respond with what they treat or what body system they work with.

A few little remarks here and there weren’t too bad. I let them slide, ignoring them, until I couldn’t.

One young man in particular was frustrated that he wasn’t getting the attention he felt he deserved. He was trying to look cool in front of his friends.

At my expense.

He raised his hand.

My instinct was to call on him and let him ask his question. He was interested. This was good.

But it wasn’t.

I was shocked. How could a kid say something like that to a guest? To a professional? I would never have dreamed of ever saying something like that to someone, much less a guest! I was angry at his snide and snarky attitude. Angry that this teacher was allowing this to happen. Embarrassed not knowing exactly how to respond.

I will not repeat the question he asked.

A million scenarios ran through my head of what I should say. Most of them would have been too harsh, driven by anger and my growing distaste for the young man.

After several seconds, that felt like hours, I calmly put down the clicker for advancing the slides. I smiled at the young man, sitting back in his chair with his arms folded with an arrogant smirk on his face.

“A real man is one who shows respect. Especially in front of other young ladies. And especially to a guest. Although I have many words of reproach to you for your ignorance and immaturity, out of respect, I will refrain. However, I would advise your teacher to either send you to the principal’s office or exclude you from any future participation in presentations with guest speakers.

To be kind, respectful and compassionate, one must be shown kindness, respect and compassion. Today, you are being offered a moment of grace. I will overlook your immature and ignorant comment and continue with our presentation if you’d be so kindly to refrain from any further comments. Understood? Now, let’s continue.”

If allowed to continue, his comments would distract from the information being given. I wouldn’t have been there if I didn’t think it was important for them to know these things. His disrespect was noted and would not be tolerated any further.

And he knew it.

He stayed quiet the rest of the presentation. Every once in a while I would notice a change in his posture, an eye roll, or even a snicker escape his lips. I would glance at him from the side and give him an “I’m watching and just waiting look” and he refrained.

Order had been restored. The group was able to learn. And as the bell rang and students began filing out of the classroom, one student came up to me and thanked me for my time and how I handled the other student. They remarked how awful he can be but that no one had ever said anything like that to him before. Usually, they just ignored him and he acted that way the whole time.

Really? The teacher even told me that she just can’t handle him so she just ignores him. I’m not sure problems are ever solved if they are left unattended to.

This was Paul’s response to the disruptions within the church at Corinth.

So far, we’ve learned that the church was suffering because of division. They disagreed about a number of issues from spiritual gifts to cultural influences. And now, another.

1 Corinthians 14:34-35

“Women should be silent during the church meetings. It is not proper for them to speak. They should be submissive, just as the law says.35 If they have any questions, they should ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for women to speak in church meetings.”

I can hear your wheels turning. Or maybe that’s your stomach as you read those words. Let’s talk about it.

What was Paul saying? Why would he say something like this?

Let’s look at the Corinthian culture to get the context. In their culture, it was inappropriate for a woman to confront men in public. But with their new Christian faith, there came freedoms. And many of the women were taking that to the extreme. They were misusing their freedoms to confront these men during church. Many times to gain attention. But it wasn’t just that.

Women did not receive formal religious education as the men did. The women were disrespectfully speaking out in the services, causing disruptions, instead of waiting until they got home to ask questions in private.

All of this was creating division within the church. Paul was encouraging unity and gave them instructions on how to be respectful and unified. He wasn’t talking about their roles in the church.

Was Paul saying that women should not speak in church services today or have an active role within the church?

No.

Throughout scripture, it’s clear that women are important to the work of building the Kingdom of God. Women have key roles in evangelism and discipleship. Our culture is not the same as the one in Corinth.

But all of us, men and women alike, should remember that God is a God of order and peace. He desires unity within the church and for believers to work together to accomplish His mission.

“40 Let all things be done decently and in order.”