I remember very clearly the day God showed me an important truth about my relationship with him. I’m either actively growing or naturally drifting.
It was a quiet morning in the office, and as I gazed coldly at my chaotic desk I contemplated, “I just cleaned this last week!” Somehow over the course of just seven days my clean desk had turned back into a cacophony of open books, random papers, and pen-scratched post-it notes .
How could this be? Am I that disorganized? Am I that busy? No. I was simply inattentive.
By simply not paying attention, my desk moved from neat and orderly to messy and distracting. The same principle applies to your closet, your health, your flowerbeds, your spice rack, and your car. Not paying attention results in a natural drift toward chaos.
This truth also plays out in the marriage relationship. Not paying attention to your marriage results in a natural drift towards chaos. So if you’ve ever felt like your marriage was falling apart, it probably was. Because of sin, there is a natural drift that occurs in every relationship—a drift apart. No one purposefully decides to drift a part. It just happens…naturally.
So what do we do about it? What can we do about it?
It’s time to make some decisions about your marriage. Here are three decisions you can make today that will reverse that natural drift that occurs in marriage.
1. Decide that you won’t settle for a drifting marriage.
It’s OK to not be OK, but it’s not ok to stay there. They only way to move toward a growing, healthy marriage relationship is to actively reject passivity.
You must decide, “I’m no longer go to remain inattentive to my marriage.” Your marriage is your most important human relationship. It’s of the utmost value and worthy of your utmost attention.
2. Decide that who you are in Christ is foundational to who you are in marriage.
You won’t ever be able to fully accomplish your role as husband or wife if you don’t fully accept your role as a child of God. The marriage relationship represents the relationship between Christ and his church! You can faithfully serve your spouse as you mirror how Christ has first served you.
Your relationship with your spouse will grow in direct proportion to your relationship with your Savior.
3. Decide on one action step toward a thriving marriage.
When I see a flowerbed grossly overgrown and consumed by weeds, I feel overwhelmed. Where do I start? I can sit there and analyze the situation, or I can jump in and start pulling weeds.
Don’t overanalyze your next action step toward a thriving marriage. It’s time to do something. Schedule a date night, a family night, or a game night. Surprise your spouse with a gift. Speak his/her love language. Do something together.
Don’t even think about putting this off to tomorrow or next weekend. Take action today. Right now even! Seriously . . . stop reading and grow your marriage!
Again, if you feel like your marriage is falling apart, it just might be. But it does’t have to be. It’s time to make some decisions, and put a stop to the natural drift and start growing!
Andy Comer – andycomer.org