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The following comes from the devotional book “What Now?” by Ashley Akers. To learn more, go to www.whatnowdevo.com.
People Pleasing
Do you rely on other people for your happiness or feeling of self-worth? Do you find yourself being afraid to say no, tolerating abuse or unable to set clear boundaries?
I didn’t realize I struggled with this until I was well into my adult life. I was not aware having to “walk on eggshells” in my childhood spilled over into adulthood. I couldn’t say no to people because I wanted to make them happy. So, I would stretch myself thin for the comfort of others. But even though I was stretched thin, it made me happy because they were happy. God calls us to serve and love others, but not for the approval of men. We are not responsible for other’s happiness.
Galatians 1:10 gives us advice on this topic,
For am I [Paul] now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Paul was a God-fearing, tell-it-like-it-is, gospel-preaching evangelist. I’m pretty sure if I was living in Paul’s day we would have been good friends. (Just sayin’!) He didn’t go around sugar-coating things and wanting to please others. He knew he didn’t have to answer to people, he answered to God. He was on a mission, a gospel-filled one. Throughout the Bible, Paul showed an example of what an “audience of One” looks like by refusing to cater to the opinions of people and rejecting anything false. It wasn’t a popularity contest to him; it was about being faithful to his calling. He knew he couldn’t please people and please God at the same time. If he did he would be serving two masters, man and God. That would be like mixing oil and water—it doesn’t work. I believe we can learn a lot from Paul and his walk with God by:
- Looking to God and fulfilling His calling. Don’t worry about pleasing others because it leads to captivity. When somebody asks you to do something, ask yourself, “Is this pleasing the person or is it pleasing God?” It is okay to say no!
- Reducing busyness in life. Make time for God and take a sabbath day of rest. When you can hear Him clearly, it will be easier to say no to people and yes to Him.
Reflection Questions
- If you struggle with people-pleasing, how do you plan on working on saying “no” to people? If you don’t struggle with it, do you know somebody who does and are you willing to help them?
- What priorities in your life do you need to change to reduce the busyness in your life?
- What does an “audience of One” look like to you?
Copyright © 2025 by Ashley Akers @ whatnowdevo.com. No part of this article may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from Lifeword.org