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Sep 07, 2025 06:00am

The Dangerous Deception of “Little White Lies”

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I was well into a block of teaching that Monday morning when I saw it. It was about three Post-it notes stuck together with writing on them. I recognized the writing—it was from a student whom I was very close to. She usually left me sweet words on Post-it notes that I would find on my desk most mornings. In fact, you would find a plethora of her notes on my desk, taped to it.

I smiled, wondering how I missed her note when I set up for the morning. I picked it up and read it. What I expected was another sweet note from her, but what I received was a very loving rebuke.

“Mrs. Spencer, I am so disappointed in you . . .”

My heart stopped. (Can I tell you how deeply those words hurt my heart?) As I continued to read the notes, I realized what I had done. And then I became convicted.

She had called me out for something I deserved: a lie. You see, the last time I saw her, it was with a group of girls who came into my room each day after school to hang out. I had to leave early that day, so I flippantly said three words on my way out that were a “little white lie.”

As soon as I said those words, I felt that nudge of conviction. But I ignored it and rationalized it by thinking, “It’s no big deal.” Here was the kicker: she asked me to repeat what I said . . . it was right then and there, I could have corrected myself and been honest. But instead, I repeated my “little white lie,” and then I walked out.

I didn’t think much about it until I found my Post-it notes that Monday morning.

Then, I thought about it a lot . . . and I was so upset with myself. This young lady had recently written an essay about people she could completely trust to guide her in her life decisions. I was one of those people. She had written about how much she could trust me because I was honest and trustworthy.

Oh, the irony! And, ouch.

Friends, I have so many hang-ups that can get me in life, but lying isn’t one of them. (Or, so I thought.) God, in His loving kindness, used this young lady to reveal a dark area in my heart: an area that craves pleasing people so much, it would be willing to tell a little white lie.

Turns out, a little white lie is a lie.

As believers, we are held to holiness. God calls all His kids to “be holy, for I am holy.” His bar is set high for all of us, and though we will all fail to reach that bar and live up to it, it exemplifies His expectations. We are all called to be image bearers of God. As image bearers, we are to strive for that holiness. People are always watching for inspiration. They will always take note of our words and our actions. And when our words and actions don’t line up, we can taint people’s view of Jesus.

That day, I had failed in being an image bearer.

I knew I needed to talk to my girl alone. I knew I needed to call myself out in front of the other girls who were in my room that day—I had to expose myself and my sin publicly. I also knew this had to hurt for me to want to turn away from this tempting area in my life. I had to get exposed and see it as God did. You see, when we don’t get exposed for our little white lies, it’s easy to keep on telling little white lies.

Of course, God allowed a moment that day for me to run into my girl in the hallway, alone (a rarity). I confessed my sin. I told her that I knew I had broken her trust and would strive to repair it. She was kind and gracious to accept my apology, but I knew she had to see it in my words and actions. I knew it would take time. It wouldn’t be a fast fix.

John Owen once said, “Be killing sin, or it be killing you.” Killing sin is seeing it for what it is: sin. Sin is a big deal to God.

It’s not a little white lie—it’s lying.
It’s not a remark of concern—it’s criticism.
It’s not a prayer request—it’s gossip.
It’s not delayed obedience—it’s disobedience.

He wants us to see our sins in a raw and honest way, so that we will want to turn away from them. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s humbling. However, it comes from a loving God who knows that our sin separates us from Him. Small allowances we make for sin will grow in our hearts until we expose them in our words and actions. Any sin we allow will ultimately be revealed.

Freedom comes when we realize God’s love can release us from any shackles of sin we are weighted down with. In His mercy, He gave us His only Son, Jesus Christ, for every time we would fall short of holiness. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross provides us abundant grace in our pursuit of holiness. And His grace empowers us to push through the conviction, face the ugly within us, and strive to live better, to live in holiness.

“Be holy, for I am holy” is not just a command; it’s a way of living. It’s when we bear His image the most.