Blog

Apr 05, 2025 06:00am

Modesty That Comes From Our Wallets

293 Views

Growing up in conservative church culture, it’s pretty common to hear preaching on modesty. It typically gets particularly leveraged toward young people, but that’s not exclusively the case. And while most churches would never profess to have a “dress code,” many times, they do hold preconceived notions, whether stated or subconscious, about what manner of dress they find appropriate for a church service.

Some will be more lenient; they may not want a woman to wear a miniskirt or a man to dress in a muscle shirt with the sides cut all the way down to his belt loops, and they may prefer not to see profanity or graphic imagery on a t-shirt. Others are a bit stricter, and some go all the way to expecting women to wear dresses and skirts exclusively, with pants of any kind being banned, while men are expected to wear a button-down dress shirt, with a tie being preferable or practically mandatory, depending on the church culture.

Regardless of the leniency or strictness of a church’s expected standard of dress, we have come to equate modesty with the amount of skin revealed. And while some churches have learned to overlook an excess of skin on display, particularly when it comes to visitors or non-members, I still think we tend to fall short of what the Bible is referring to when it talks about modesty in dress.

The first passage that usually gets brought up when it comes to modesty is actually a single verse: 1 Timothy 2:9. It says, “Also, that women should dress themselves in modest clothing with reverence and self-control, not with their hair braided or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes.” There’s another passage I’m going to look at in a minute, but first, I want to address why Paul specifically speaks about women here. This verse has often been used to single out women’s dress in modern churches, and that isn’t what’s happening here.

The problem is twofold. First, it’s a matter of context. Paul is writing to Timothy in Ephesus, explaining some things he wants his young pupil to know about shepherding a church. Something we miss out on, because we forget to apply historical context to these verses, is that in Ephesus, there was a cult of women who worshipped the goddess Artemis. To make a long story short, this cult venerated women and placed them on a pedestal above men. When the cultists of Artemis began converting to Christianity, they entered the church with all their preconceived notions about the position of women in religion, and they began lording themselves over the men of the church, putting on displays of power, and—in the context of the verse we’re looking at—showing up in the finest clothes money could buy. It was less a matter of sexual indecency and more a display of power, authority, and pride.

I bring this up because it’s often easy for churches to fall into the trap of placing more emphasis on the clothing of women than on that of men. We forget that men can be indecent, too. But Paul wasn’t singling out all women, everywhere, in this passage. He was addressing a direct issue Timothy was facing, while also (through the guidance of the Holy Spirit) providing important standards for all the believers who would one day read this letter from the Bible. The call to modesty, while particularly applicable to the women of Timothy’s church, applies to all believers, not just to women.

And remember: he’s not talking about modesty in terms of exposing too much skin. While we should certainly be careful not to provoke one another to lust by exposing ourselves immodestly, that is not the thrust of Paul’s directive. It’s about modesty in terms of extravagance. These women were flaunting not their bodies but their wealth. Their clothes, jewelry, and elaborate hairstyles… all of these things were intended to draw attention to the status, power, and possessions of the person wearing them. And this cuts to the heart of biblical modesty: it’s about having a heart of humility rather than a heart of pride.

1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight.” While this passage is once again directed at the wives of the church, it is applicable to all believers, not just women.

Because in modern culture, women aren’t the only ones who like expensive clothes. Is there a more obvious sign of an affluent businessman than a well-tailored suit? I myself enjoy wearing nice clothes. And I firmly believe that it’s okay to want to present ourselves well by dressing nicely or to want to give God our best by wearing our finest clothes to church. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating for you to find your oldest t-shirt and most worn-out pair of jeans before you come to church so you ensure you’re being modest.

But rather, I’m cautioning us (myself included) to be wary of excess. I saw an excellent post the other day on social media where someone said: “If a church was to have a dress code, I think it should be that no one article of clothing should cost more than you’d be willing to spend aiding the poor.” That gripped me by the heart and made me stop and think. Modesty—the kind talked about in 1 Timothy and 1 Peter—is about not flaunting displays of wealth. The money being spent on expensive clothes and jewelry could have gone toward helping the widows and needy of the church in Ephesus. Do we approach our own lives with similar consideration?

I like boots. But it’s one thing to wear a $40 pair of boots to church, and another to wear a $450 pair of boots to church—especially if, in my heart, I know I wouldn’t give that $450 to a person who needed their electric bill paid. I like jackets. But $75 spent on a jacket could pay for someone’s groceries.

Do you see what I’m getting at? The question of biblical modesty is often less about how much skin is being shown and more about how willing we are to sacrifice for the benefit of others rather than make ourselves look fashionable. We must all take a long look inward and consider the condition of our hearts. Are our possessions there to prop us up, make us feel better about ourselves, and draw attention and compliments from the people we worship with? Or are they tools we will allow God to use for the good of others?