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Nov 19, 2024 18:00pm

Letters to My Children: Modesty (Pt. 2)

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To My Children:

If you do a search for modesty or dress, you will not find many other verses that deal directly with those topics. But we can also apply some principles from other places in Scripture.

As the parents in Proverbs warn their son about the adulterous woman, they describe her as “dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart” (Proverbs 7:10b). Clearly in their culture and time, there was a way a woman could dress that would identify her as a prostitute. If we think of what a prostitute looks like in our day and culture, we would be able to conjure up a clear image as well. There is a way a woman can dress that shows she is using her body to allure and entice others—we should avoid dressing like that.

In fact, the Proverbs also say there are seven things the Lord hates; one of them is “a heart that devises wicked plans” (Proverbs 6:18a). Modesty, or lack thereof, can begin with forethought. If, when we think about the clothes we are going to wear, our heart is devising a plan to entice the gaze of others in our direction, either to arouse or make jealous, then we are devising wicked plans against our neighbor—plans that are not for their benefit but for their harm.

Similarly, when Jesus talks about not lusting (Matthew 6), He is using a reflexive verb, which means it can be translated not only as “don’t look at someone lustfully,” but also as “do not purposefully try to draw lustful looks from others.” Obviously, there are going to be people who look at you lustfully no matter how you dress, and this we can’t control; but we can control the intentions of our hearts when we put on an outfit and determine not to purposefully try to draw a lustful eye.

There are clearly some parts of our body that are to remain covered, except within marriage. A husband’s and a wife’s body belong to each other (1 Corinthians 7:4), but we should keep those parts of us covered that are only acceptable for our spouse to see.

The final principle here is authority. What follows Paul’s discourse to Timothy on women’s dress is a discussion about submission. We find a similar conversation on women’s adornment and submissiveness in 1 Peter 3. If you have an authority in your life, such as a parent or school, who gives you dress guidelines or rules to follow, you should submit to them. Children are to obey their parents, and we are supposed to submit to the authorities God has placed over us unless they ask us to sin. So if you
have a school dress code, follow it as unto the Lord.

There may not be a direct line I can give you to determine which outfits are modest or not, but I pray these words and principles speak to your heart as a woman who professes godliness and leave you desirous to adorn yourself in modesty, self-control, and good works.

I love you. Grow in godliness and in your love for God.