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Jul 01, 2025 06:00am

Let’s Get Yoked!

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My daughter was 18 months old when she said the words that would forever dictate her life: “I do it myself.” With her hands on her hips, she dared me to talk back to her. At the time, I thought it was cute . . . until I realized Miss Independent had taken over.

From that moment on, she fought me on the clothes she wore and the cute bows I put in her hair. Nothing was safe from being taken off. (I think she is what Dr. James Dobson had in mind when he wrote that book, The Strong-Willed Child.)

But there’s one thing she didn’t realize in this battle of being Miss Independent: I was the one who gave her that stubborn gene. I am the original Miss Stubborn, and let’s just say it’s been a battle of the stubborns over the years: Stubborn #1 vs. Stubborn #2. Sometimes, Stubborn #1 won the battle, like the time she wouldn’t smile for her pumpkin patch pictures, so I chucked her pacifier out of the car window afterward. Sometimes, Stubborn #2 won, like the time she cut her hair (right before school pictures, mind you) after I told her she couldn’t.

She just didn’t understand the point I kept emphasizing: If you would just listen to me, I could save you a lot of worry and heartache over the years! However, since she was still in her “I do it myself” phase of life, she received ample opportunities to learn some extra life lessons along the way.

Friends, I wonder if Jesus had our kids in mind thousands of years ago when He said the verse we love to cling to when we mamas grow weary from the battles we face in life:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).

You see, the keyword of these verses is not weary, which is what I was always drawn to. Just recently, the Holy Spirit focused my eyes on the word yoke, so I did a little research on it. A yoke is a wooden bar that binds two animals together to bear a burden. Now, on a farm, it might be pulling a plow, farm equipment, or a wagon. A strong animal would be paired with a submissive animal so that the strong one can guide it. If two strong animals were paired together, they would end up working against each other, providing tension on the yoke (and possibly breaking it) and delaying getting the job done.

It was as if the Holy Spirit had taken His holy highlighter and marked up that last line . . . and all of a sudden, this felt very personal. If two strong-willed animals were paired together, there would be problems. Each would want to go its own way. Each would pull away from the other.

Hmmm, this sounds familiar.

This is the moment that Stubborn #1 realized that this verse wasn’t just about her and her daughter; it mirrored her and Jesus.

Oh, the conviction.

You see, I have a problem: Though I am so willing to be yoked to Jesus, I resist Him leading me. You see, I have it mapped out in my mind how something should go, and if it doesn’t go that way, I am pushing back. Or, maybe I see something that looks better and start heading in that direction. Or, I get distracted by something shiny.

I have a problem submitting to authority, and clearly, I had passed that gene on to my daughter. Isn’t it funny how Jesus used my daughter to show me how stubborn her mama is? This is what we English teachers call irony.

In these verses, Jesus calls all of us to stop carrying our yokes and burdens, but instead, to take His yoke — to be bound to Him and let Him guide us. In other words, friends, we have to wave our white flags and surrender to Jesus’ leadership in our lives through obedience. When we do that and live out that surrender, something cool happens: we experience Him.

We can face hard and heartbreaking times in life with Jesus’ guidance and help. We can tap into the power and strength of the Holy Spirit in place of our weariness. We experience joy amid stressful times in life. Our loads, which may not have changed one bit, feel lighter just by sharing them with Jesus. He literally can take a load off of us, friends.

Walking with Jesus and following Him only happens when we lay down our stubborn ways, admitting His way is better. Something beautiful happens when we do: we find rest in the surrender.

And just in case you have a little Miss (or Mr.) Stubborn too, perhaps — just perhaps — the Lord is using them to shine some light on your own heart. It may just be that parent and child can grow stronger together by submitting.

Until then, Dr. James Dobson has your back.