Jun 03, 2019 23:00pm
He’s Already There


My email is like the pit of despair. I keep everything, you know, just in case. Like all the way from 2010. I might need that contact and the context of the email… so I NEED it. 

Then I get this message that says my email cannot be sent because my mailbox is full. I spend hours deleting junk mail that somehow slips through and file a few things into archive and try again. Nope. Still full. Then I realize, I also have to delete my trash and that will clear some storage space. 



Nope again. 


Then it hits me, OK. I’ll put the sent items into the sent items folder in archive, that will do it! So, I spend a few minutes trying to “Select All” and then the fun little folder pops up showing me how much is going into this file.

By now, I am an hour and a half in and still have yet to do what I set out to do. 

I needed to find something. I know I sent an email and it contained some pretty important information. I click on the search tab at the top and type in the person I think I sent it to. 


That’s it. Just that one word. So, I wait. An eternity passes by (2 minutes) and I seriously can’t wait any longer. What on earth is taking this computer so long? This is supposed to be the fastest technology, the wave of the future, instant information at our fingertips… but no. 


The little dots are even moving a little as if it really is looking. Peering through the depths of my email, hoping to land on a keyword somewhere throughout the dark abyss. 


I’m so tired of waiting. I try something else. I decide to use the subject line instead of the sender. It pops up a few key words, but nothing that fits the bill for what I’m looking for. 

Ya’llllllllllll! This goes on for hours. (Yes, I’m from the South and that’s how we address one another, and it has to be in that long, drawn out, southern drawl that we have.) Read it again. There ya go. Now you’ve got it. 

The search continues. 

Throughout life, we are desperately searching in this same way.

We are searching for answers to some of the greatest questions posed to man: Why am I here? What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do? 

I’m not alone. I know you’ve done the same thing. 

The problem isn’t in the search, it’s that we grow impatient waiting on the answers we seek and, instead, we decide to fill our needs with counterfeit comforts. 

King Solomon, known to be the wisest man that ever lived, set out to see if anything could fulfill our true longings and desires. He describes his findings in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. He sought out happiness through physical pleasures, great wealth and possessions, power and position. But all were temporary fixes to an eternal problem. 

“And whatever my eyes desired, I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure” Ecclesiastes 2:10.

My own heart ached and sought to be filled. Just like Solomon, I knew God was there, but I still sought to take matters into my own hands and find happiness. “I kept my heart from no pleasure.” In other words, if I wanted it, it was mine. 

It felt good for a while, I won’t lie. But after time, those pleasures didn’t fill me like they used to. I had become so desensitized to the feelings they brought that I needed more and more to find that feeling again. Deeper and deeper, I was digging my own grave. My soul cried out for peace, for belonging, for love, for hope, and yet I only found pain, suffering, loneliness, heartache and despair. 

My constant need for control had pushed God aside, saying “I’ve got this.” There was no surrender on my part to him. It was all me. And I was failing. Miserably.

You know what’s crazy about God? Even in our stupidity, our need for control, our constant intake of garbage and filth, he is there. 

Have you ever been in one of those foam pits? You are desperately trying to crawl out, yet every move seems like defeat. Progress is impossible. 

I was doing exactly what I wanted. I was still trying to figure it out all on my own, making a mess of me…and God, rich in his mercy and grace, swept me off my feet. God reached down from his heavenly throne and gave me my heart’s desire. The Lord knew what it would take to reach me. He knows our hearts, our minds, every thought we have, he knows. 

Then I met my husband. 

They say it happens when you least expect it, but for me, I had been searching for him for a long time. 

My mistake was not waiting on God to give me the perfect match. 

You want to know our purpose in life? I’ll make it really easy, you can stop searching. It’s to glorify God. Period. Why did the Lord allow me to meet my husband? Because that was what it was going to take for me to glorify the Lord. My work, my attitude, my speech, my life… all of it had been centered around me. Until Shaun. 

From the moment we began dating, I began changing. It wasn’tfor my husband and it wasn’t necessarily becauseof him. But God was using him to draw me closer. Through him, I saw the need for the local church, the quest for knowledge of God spread through me like a wildfire, and the desire to serve was overwhelming. I was finally at a point where I stopped serving myself, relinquished my need for control and gave Jesus the glory he deserved. 

The Lord knows what it will take to reach you, too. You are searching, and God is the only thing that will complete you. Anything other than Jesus Christ is empty. 

Just like my mailbox, I had to delete all the trash in my life.

Solomon’s findings concluded that nothing is of value apart from God. He says in Ecclesiastes 1:3 that “All is vanity.”

Stop searching…Jesus is there. 

Yalanda Merrell