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Jun 16, 2024 06:00am

Get REAL, Not FINE

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I love the contemporary Christian song, “Truth Be Told,” and the lyrics really hit home for most of us who attend church on a regular basis:

“Lie Number 1 — you’re supposed to have it all together, and when they ask how you’re doing, you just smile and tell them, ‘Never better;’

Lie Number 2 — everybody’s life is perfect except yours, so keep your messes and your wounds, and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors; “Truth be told, the truth is rarely told.”

The lyrics go on to say that our response, when asked “How are you doing?” is usually: “Oh, I’m fine; yeah, I’m fine; hey, I’m fine”… But “Truth be told, the truth is rarely told…”

That is so sad, but all too often, so very true.

Our youth director once told us that FINE is actually an acronym for “Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.” Talk about getting real!

Of course, we all laughed, but don’t we often have trouble getting “real” with those with whom we worship? Let’s work on that together and be:

R – Realistic: Everyone needs a foundation of friends who love us no matter what, and in order to have a real relationship, we have to be honest with each other. Our lives are not perfect, and it so hard to show other people our “warts.” But when we do, we will often find that they have them, too and they still think we’re wonderful.

When our children were growing up, a mantra we always repeated at our house was “good, bad or ugly… straight scoop!” We reminded them that we couldn’t help them if we didn’t know the actual situation — it would be like grabbing at a cloud.

That’s also true with our church family… we must be realistic!

E – Edifying: To edify simply means “to give support!” As Christians, we should lift each other up emotionally, spiritually and physically. We need to encourage each other with the fact that just because something is the way it is right now doesn’t mean it will always be that way. It really helps when someone sincerely tells me they believe things will get better… or that they’ve been through the same thing and they survived. We need to, as the Bible says in Gal. 6:2, “Bear ye one another’s burdens…”

We don’t have to have all the answers to their problems. We just need remind them that Jesus does have all the answers to their problems and that He loves them more than we ever could.

A – Attentive: Sometimes, all another Christian needs is for someone to really listen and to care. When a Christian brother or sister shares a burden with us, they should have our undivided attention. We’re all busy, but we shouldn’t be too busy to “be there” for a friend.

Don’t let your mind wander. “Be in the moment,” and ask God to give you the words to say to them — and until He does, don’t say anything! Just listen!

L – Loving: Above all else, Christians must love each other. We all have different personalities, and we all relate to each other differently. But one thing we all can, and should, do is love each other and be willing to do whatever is necessary to help… even if it is scary or painful.

A long time ago, I heard something that has always stuck with me: “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

And the Bible says it even better: “Three things will last forever — faith, hope, and love — and the greatest of these is love” (I Cor. 13:13 NLT).

As Christians, we have a whole world out there who is against us. But it can be such an encouragement when we’re a member of a local church and know that we have a Christian family who loves us, wants to be REAL with us and wants us to be REAL with them.

If you don’t have a church family, there is a doctrinally sound, loving church out there, just waiting for you with open arms. Why not join one so they can be a blessing to you and you can be a blessing to them!