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Dec 08, 2024 06:00am

Dealing With Criticism

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As they walked down the street, two taxidermists passed by a window and noticed an owl on display. Each one began to criticize the work. One man said the owl’s eyes did not appear natural. The other stated that its wings seemed out of place. Both agreed the feathers were untidy. They had concluded that either one could have fashioned a better-looking bird. It was then, to their chagrin, that the old owl turned his head and winked at them.

Some people live in a fault-finding mode. They look for faults like there is a reward for finding them. A critical person will seek out flaws and imperfections while ignoring or overlooking the positive. They criticize that which does not act, look, behave, or respond like they think it should. Criticism is no respecter of persons. Jesus walked on this earth without sin. Yet, our perfect Lord faced criticism from many. Are we to expect less?

A peek into the life of David can give insight into how to handle critical attitudes in a very practical way. No matter what position in life you are in, you will receive criticism. David was criticized as an insignificant shepherd boy and as the prominent king of Israel. He received criticism from the world and from those near him. David was criticized in his youth and in his old age. He was criticized often even though he is considered a man after God’s own heart. So how did David deal with criticism?

“Who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” Can you see young David asking this question? Righteous anger burns within him. Will no one take a stand? The strongest and bravest of the Israelites surrounded David, yet none dare battle the giant. King Saul sits in fear doing nothing. Therefore, the young lad, willing to fight for the Lord, speaks out. Outside vilification is expected, but these words come from a brother. “I know thy pride, and the naughtiness of thine heart,” he says. David, criticized by one closest to him, addresses the matter. “What have I now done? Is there not a cause?” I Samuel 17:29.

Much later in David’s life he is again verbally attacked. King Saul is now dead and David reigns as king. He is weary, worn, and fleeing from his son Absalom. As David approaches Bahurim, a relative of Saul named Shimei comes out cursing and hurling accusations toward him. (Pay attention. It is often a technique of the enemy to attack when we are tired and exhausted.) “Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head,” 2 Samuel 16:9. David had the authority to stop his accuser’s tongue, but this time he chose to respond in quiet humility. “…let him alone, and let him curse; for the LORD hath bidden him,” 2 Samuel 6:11.

There are several lessons we can learn from David on how to deal with criticism. The first is to determine how to respond. There is, “a time to keep silence,” Ecclesiastes 3:7. In the case of Shimei’s attack, David was silent. His response was consistent with a verse he later wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. “I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me,” Psalm 39:1. There are plenty to times to hold our tongues when faced with criticism. But in that moment, we should be careful to not hold our prayers. David’s prayer was that “the LORD will look on mine affliction, and that the LORD will requite me good for his cursing this day,” 2 Samuel 16:12. He knew God could do much more for him than his enemy could do against him.

We also need to recognize there is, “a time to speak,” Ecclesiastes 3:7. David addressed his brother when criticized about his motives in facing Goliath. We also see him speaking out when criticized at other times in his life. (See 2 Samuel 6.) When we reply, we should do so in love and remember that a soft answer turns away wrath. When it comes to responding to our critics, remember that there is, “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” Let us seek wisdom to be able to discern which is appropriate.

The second aspect of dealing with criticism is to not let it affect your plans. Even though David’s brother came against him, he still became victorious over Goliath and the Philistines. Even though Shimei came against him, David continued on the path set before him. God was leading him in both incidences, and he would not be deterred. Have you faced criticism in the way you raise your children or live your life? Have people criticized your ministry or the way you serve the Lord? Do not give the enemy victory by letting it throw you off course. Follow God’s plan for your life even in the face of opposition. As we later see with David and Shimei, sometimes those that oppose us come back seeking forgiveness. (See 2 Samuel 19:15-23.)

Finally, do not let criticism steal your joy. How easy is it to get discouraged when faced with just one critical person! Notice what David did after Shimei’s vile attack. “And the king, and all the people that were with him, came weary, and refreshed themselves there,” 2 Samuel 16:14. David wasn’t alone, and neither are you. For every one person who opposes you, chances are many more support you. David and all the people that were with him came and refreshed themselves. They would not let the hostility of one take away their joy.

Aristotle said, “Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” Dale Carnegie said, “Remember that no one kicks a dead dog.” This reminds us that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. When you are criticized you are accomplishing something worthy of attention. So, respond in godly wisdom, keep pressing on, and don’t let it steal your joy!