“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus, our Master, has embraced us” Romans 8:39.
“Ghosting,” otherwise known as relationship vanishing, hurts. In a digital world primed for connecting, it’s a bit puzzling why appropriate endings are sparse. Or is it? When “convenient or good enough” determine your level of commitment, it’s probably not the stuff that dreams are made of!
Let’s face it, rejection is a throat punch you usually don’t see coming, especially for the “ghostee.” The severing of ties and disappearing acts are debilitating, but the silence is cruel and lingering. After all, commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you. At least that’s what fairytales and social media project. And what we can, and usually do, hope for.
While “ghosting” may appear common in the relationship community, where shades of disrespect, betrayal, and uncertainty concerning endings “haunt” ghostees. It’s often a trick and seldom a treat. “Ghosters” tend to be proficient in executing detachment (labeled nearest exit ramp from the relationship). Don’t be fooled . . . it’s as old as the Garden. The attempt to hide from God in His creation was/is pretty mindless, not to mention the plant wardrobe and plot twist of getting booted out of paradise. Bottom line: It leaves a legacy that only forgiveness can heal. Sometimes, no clear closure is the ending. Ask me how I know.
Studies indicate anxiety and fear are the top excuses given for ghosting. I hear the flawed reasoning. I just don’t buy it. As Christ followers, it’s a bad look. God wants us to live in harmony with others, not simply dismiss and discard them like leftover meatloaf (Colossians 3 and Romans 12). Obviously, ghosting isn’t an others-centered, humble posture of interacting. It barely beats dehumanizing someone from the anonymity of your computer screen, which is less attractive than most blind dates.
Let’s be clear, I’m not talking about the wisdom of establishing healthy boundaries. I’m simply for promoting opportunities for resolution and honest communication before disappearing like a fake tan. You know, the ol’ Golden Rule or better yet . . . Love God, Serve Others lifestyle. As Paul David Tripp states, “Freedom and authority are not enemies.” True freedom occurs when we choose to live in willing submission to His authority.
1. Christ followers should practice forgiveness . . . the greatest kind of grace given!
2. Don’t be a Casper to fellow sojourners or to God himself.
3. Christ offers us THE best committed relationship with 24/7 access!
*No ghosting allowed!