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Oct 09, 2022 06:00am

Avoidable Regrets

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As I write this, I have just received news of the death of two friends. It is the fifth time I have received this type of news this year and the third in two weeks.

The one who died last week had only three months from the the terminal diagnosis until his death. His daughter shared that at the time of his diagnosis and multiple times in the ensuing weeks, he repeated this one comment more than any other:

“I thought I had so much more time.”

So much more time for family and friends. So much more time for doing the things he really loved. So much more time for enjoying the retirement for which he had worked a lifetime. So much more time for serving his Savior. And the list goes on and on.

But he didn’t have more time.

Given the circumstances, many of us might have the same feelings. I think most of us tend to think we have more time. And maybe we do—until we don’t. Regardless of how much time we have been granted, there is a tendency to not fully appreciate the preciousness of that time until we are faced with the inevitable.

I have reached the age where I better understand the brevity of life, and I more consciously appreciate the gift of time. So if there is one thing I could communicate to those younger than I, it would be this:

the time is coming when you, too, will wonder where the time has gone.

Looking back , I do have some regrets. Maybe you do too: regrets about what you did or didn’t do with the time you’ve been given.

In this moment of contemplation, I share with you areas where I have my biggest regrets of valuable time lost:

Salvation

Without a doubt, the biggest regret of my life is that I waited until well past midlife before seeking and finding faith in Christ. Although I had lived with a knowledge of Jesus, I did not have the personal relationship with Him only available through grace activated by our faith.

If you have not yet come to that tipping point of faith, I promise you are missing the most rewarding times of this life, and the ultimate regret will come if you leave this earthly life without having made that decision.

I encourage you to put your faith in Christ if you haven’t already done so. Lifeword can help you with that.

2. Identity

Believe it or not, God created each of us with a unique identity, plan, and purpose for our life, but the biggest struggles of life come because we fail to align with that identity, plan, and purpose. I went through decades where living seemed a constant battle for that very reason; I regret those unnecessary years of struggle.

Once I discovered my God-given identity and sought to align with it, everything changed. It is a journey of discovery that can be life-changing and life-enhancing for you as well.

Guidance

One of my most regrettable discoveries, after I came to faith in Christ, was how I had forfeited so many years of guidance available to me from the God of all creation. He had always been ready, willing, and able to guide me with the teachings and examples in the Bible, but I had never sought that guidance. There was a direct and open line of communication to Him through prayer that I had neglected.

I now understand how foolish that was, and trust me, there is no more confident feeling than being guided by God Himself.

Honor

When I pause to think of what God has done for me, I cannot help but regret the years I spent not honoring Him. At the same time, I am overwhelmed and amazed by His grace that forgives all of those regrets. That grace is freely available to you as well, regardless of what you have or haven’t done.

Passion

We cannot just generate passion within ourselves. It is God-given. One of my regrets is not recognizing my God-given passion earlier in life and pursuing it more deeply along the way.

I hope you will take time to recognize those things you really enjoy and matter deeply to you, and then lean into how God wants you to pursue those interests in your life.

Relationships

As you reach your later years, you will realize with greater clarity that It is the relationships in your life that matter most. Certainly your relationship with God through faith in Jesus is at the top of that list; it is the most crucial, because it has eternal consequences.

Your family and friends are also profoundly important as you look back on life. God gave you the gift of those people. Cherish that gift.

Soul Replenishment

Another realization in your later years is how much time you have wasted on the conflicts, pettiness, and dramas of life, and how much time you neglected to spend on those things that replenish and refresh your soul.

I encourage you to make an intentional effort to not sweat the small stuff and to focus more intentionally on the things that nourish and soothe your soul. Time spent with God is certainly one of those things.

As you age, your regrets will look different than mine. Perhaps you won’t even have regrets, but most of us will at least have some ways we wished we used the time we were given differently.

While we can’t change the past, the good news is God can help us live the rest of our lives with fewer regrets. He can redeem all of those areas of past regret and miraculously use them for good, but we must give Him that chance.

And we must give Him that chance while we still have time.

“Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)