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Apr 09, 2023 06:00am

How to Raise Average Kids

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I remember a conversation I had with my parents when I brought home a progress report with a “ C “ on
it. I knew my parents would be disappointed, so I rehearsed my speech: “a C is average,” to which they
quickly replied, “You are not average.”

Turns out my chemistry teacher disagreed.

As a parent now I understand what they meant. When our daughter was younger, the doctor would often tell us what percentile our child was in for height, weight (glad they don’t do that for adults), size of their heads etc. I remember thinking, “we have to get her to a higher percentile in height if she wants to play in the WNBA,” (she was 8 weeks old at the time).

The truth is kids are graded excessively. Each classroom teacher gives them a grade, coaches assign them to A or B teams, band and music assign chairs, and art awards ribbons. Then they have a number (grade) of social media followers, they also have a grade point average, class rank, and let’s not forget an ACT score. Now before you start thinking I mean every kids needs a trophy, I don’t, rings are way better.

No parent wants to raise “average” kids. No parent dreams of their child being the bench warmer or the
kids that gets cut from the team. Every parent wants their kid to be the first chair musician,
quarterback, point guard while also being in the gifted and talented program. The truth is every kid is
average at some things, but God has made your child with a gift, a plan, and a purpose.

Paul writes in Ephesians 2:10, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared ahead of time for us to do.
Here is some help for the frustrated parent:

1) Find the thing your kids love, even if it is not the thing you love. Early Saturday mornings at the
soccer field can be fun or miserable. Some kids love baseball, others pick flowers in the outfield.
If the first thing you try is not THE thing, that is fine. Ask questions and listen to what your kids
get excited about, even if it is not your first love.

2) If you child loves being a part of something and is not the star, be ok with it. I have seen many
cases where the parents are so mad, they blame the coach or teacher (who the kid may love),
the school, the refs, and their spouse. The kid maybe happy to play the role given, even if it is
not a lead role. Learning to play a role on a team will be great for their future job.

3) Look for teachable moments. Winning, losing, making the honor role, getting cut from the
team, being named first chair, all provide a great chance to talk about how to handle success
and failure in the world we live in.

4) Your kids activities are for their development, not your ego. If your kid is not the best, it doesn’t
mean you are a bad parent or bad person. On the other hand if they are the star help them
navigate success in a godly way.

5) Remember God loves average people. In Acts 4:13 it says, When they saw the courage of Peter
and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they
took note that these men had been with Jesus. Peter and John were used by God and they were
average, ordinary people that had been with Jesus. What an amazing verse.

In a culture that wants to rank and grade your kids at every turn make sure you tell them that they are
more than a rank or number. They are loved and their value is far greater than a grade point or class
rank. Parents rest easy, God still uses average people, in fact it is His specialty.